The Long Journey
by tearsofblooddownmypallidface
Summary: summary....hmmm....you'll just have to read it and find out....
1. Chapter 1

FANGZ TO TOMAZZZZZZZZZZZ FOR THE DA HELP WITH DA RAPIN OF DA STOREEZZZZZZZZZZZZ

* * *

It was a hot Californian day, and Ryan was just about to call Julie.

"Omg get lost Gus, I'm not going to ur Christmas party!" screamed Julie.

"Plz, u ain't got nuthin!" squealed Cailin suicidally,

"I'll c u at Ryan's pool house".

Meanwhile, in the Cohen house, Hayley had turned up once again. She remembered where the spare key was and let herself in. Just as she closed the door, she turned around and found Oliver pointing a gun to her head.

"Where is Marissa?" he said creepily.

"I don't know who you are talking about or who you are but I'll call someone who might," Hayley replied.

Slowly dialling into her cellphone, Hayley called Seth, he picked up and requested that he comes to her house. He came, and as soon as he enterd, she leapt onto him and slit his wrists enthusiastically.

"Could I borrow a condemn? "he asked her simultaneously.

"No. Mother, don't come down the ladder, I took it away," she answered octagonally.

He huffed in rage amd puffed in anger until the whole building collapsed all onto Johnny, who then said,

" OMG, this is it I am going to die," before suffocating. Then everyone standing around him cheered before going off to the diner to get a black & white milkshake and some chilli cheese fries.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Trey decided to go to Newport, except he was nervous cos the last time he went he had kinda gone drug crazy and tried to rape Marissa. When he arrived in chino he saw Kirsten slitting her wrists in Go-Lo.

"why r u slitting ur wrists?" he asked.

"Because you are gay & I am in love with you and only you!"

She said that extremely fast and nervously, unable to think how he would respond to her assumption of his sexuality.

"how did you know I was gay?" said Seth to summer, who was slowly becoming incestuous.

"I MUST MARRY MY COUSIN!" said summer to Ryan and Ryan turned and stopped her from cutting herself by raping her.

"Thankyou for that cocaine. It was angelically awesome. Too bad I married my cousin now my children are weak."

Meanwhile, Ryan was swapping tazos with Julie when Kirsten ran in and said, "rape ya now!"

The next five minutes involved lots of penguin waddling around the pool and BBQ area. They were all trying to imitate the weird animals because they were their role models. They all decided to go to the north pole to visit santa and his elves to try scam money off them. When they came back rich they went and bought several razors and two wedding rings. Summer wed her first cousin and at the wedding it was compulsory to slit ones wrists to cover the floor in blood, but this was overdone, and it became necessary to swim from the venue. Pretty much everyone survived, not Trey though.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Marissa entered her bedroom cautiously. She had already been raped by Trey, Ryan & many other crazy lunatics this week who were obsessed with her. She did think she could stand it again so she ran away to chino.

"Where's Ryan," she asked to a random druggie at the side of the road.

"Mmphcptn," said druggie.

"Ahhhh," replied Marissa, "May I please have some heroin Now"

"Ummh wwwaaatchaa sayyyy?" squealed luke as if he were in the process of self mutilation. Summer heard the singing and immediately began cutting her thighs to the beat. Marissa decided to rape Amilia with a rusty nail which tomas found shoved in a potato he had for dinner once and had choked on, causing him to die before he could marry Summer Roberts. Anyways at the cohen household, Sandy and Kirsten were buying a chipmunk baby they could raise as a substitute for Seth, who had been killed while playing tic-tac-toe against a very fierce carrot.

"how am I supposed to eat this carrot without dying?" Kiki asked Caleb, before bursting into tears.

"Well you could just seep me if u really wanna, but the easiest way would be to cut. Cutting solves all my problems,"

They both began cutting their arms and legs and were joined by sandy, who had been cutting since he was 9. They cut all night until they were so tired from blood loss that they went home. But when Marissa got home, she found OLIVER AND JONNY IN HER ROOM TOUCHING HER PILLOWS !111!1!1


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ryan is waiting for you on an island in the Mediterranean.

But who are you?

"I am not crying, I am making onion soup!" shouted Ryan. Caitlin started crying tears of blood upon her pallid face. She was upset because Marissa had taken her spleen without asking. Marissa walked in and slapped Caitlin.

"OMG only I'm meant to be depressed!" she moaned dexteriously.

"Why cant u just kill yourself Gus? You have no reason for living! No one comes to your Christmas parties or eats your pigeon pie COZ THEY SUCK HEAPS!" shouted Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper who was now a well-known druggie and rapist. She said,

"Look into ma eyes, homies, and I will consequently RAPE YOU LATE…"

Many people accepted this as Jonny was megabese.

"Omfyg! My life SUX" yelled summer, who began raping Dr Kim.

"Holy shla shla mandela!" crowed Dr Kim and summer proptly slit everyone's wrists because that was the cool think to do these days now that marijuana smoking was so uncool because he had never even cut himself, let alone rape someone!

"You are a total lose sandy!" yelled Kirsten convincingly.

"Why won't you rape Ryan?" she yelled again, trancingly.

"BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH SETH" sandy replied in a most incestuously Brokeback way.


End file.
